


We're a List of Metaphors

by kawaiipose



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: But have this, Idiots in Love, Idk what i'm doing, M/M, Mutual Pining, and ive abandoned my actual story eek, dowoo have some advice, hyuck gets fed up, ive been writing this for literal months, johnny and jaehyun are haechan's parents lets not lie, kind of, mark is an ass at the beginning, mark is oblivious, mentions of nomin, pining haechan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:40:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23545519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiipose/pseuds/kawaiipose
Summary: "Mark liked to push Donghyuck away because he loved when he came back. Time after time, Hyuck would hold his hand or snuggle into him and he’d give him a little shove away. But Hyuck was stubborn, he was never deterred. Mark loved his determination, his attention, a little too much. And as much as he hated to admit it, he loved when Hyuck paid special attention, only to him."or mark pushes hyuck too far away to reach, and it takes him a while to realise how to win him back.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, very mild/non existent dowoo, vey mild/non existent nomin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 209





	We're a List of Metaphors

Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck as a metaphor:

Mark is a paddle and Donghyuck is a ball on a string, connected to the paddle. The ball flings into the paddle and the paddle whacks it away, but the ball isn’t fazed. The ball comes back time and time again, the string their connection that the ball just can’t let go of, can’t escape.

But then, eventually, the paddle thwacks the ball a little too hard and the string breaks and it’s no longer a ball-and-paddle, it’s a ball and a paddle. The connection? Severed. Sure, you can tape the ball back to the string, but it doesn’t bounce the same way, and it doesn’t stick for long.

Mark liked to push Donghyuck away because he loved when he came back. Time after time, Hyuck would hold his hand or snuggle into him and he’d give him a little shove away. But Hyuck was stubborn, he was never deterred. Mark loved his determination, his attention, a little too much. And as much as he hated to admit it, he loved when Hyuck paid special attention, only to him.

What Mark didn’t see was the hurt. Every time Mark pushed him away, nudged him off, pulled away for him, for a split second Haechan’s face would transform and his façade would fade. His eyes would sadden, his mouth falling into a defeated frown. He contemplates, just for a moment, giving up. Giving up on this silly crush, this ‘unspoken thing’ between the two of them – was there even an unspoken thing, or was Hyuck’s mind making up a reality he wishes were true? Then Mark gives him that smile: a cute tilt of his mouth, his eyes crinkled. And the cycle continues.

That was until ‘the incident.’ The incident went a little like this:

Mark looked stunning. Yeah, he was naturally cute, and _yes,_ sometimes Mark was so good looking that it is literally impossible to put it into _words,_ but today his make-up was just... woah. It was subtle – a glimmer around his dark eyes, light mascara and eyeliner making his eyes even more striking than usual. His blonde and black hair was pushed back, revealing his forehead for the first time in ages. And Hyuck couldn’t _help_ it, okay, he pinched his cheek, fond, before opening his arms to hug him from behind and –

_Smack._ Mark sent him flying, tripping over his own feet before falling to the floor, slamming his body into the tiles. Snickers and chuckles erupted from surrounding members as Jungwoo and Doyoung helped Hyuck to his feet, Johnny rushing over and fussing about his now ruined hair and crushed outfit. He didn’t look at Mark. Didn’t look for the crinkled eyes, the tilting mouth, reassuring him, melting away his worries. He couldn’t, eyes glued to the floor as Johnny began to part his hair again as the stylist had before. Jaehyun came over, checking he was okay as Jungwoo and Doyoung smoothed his outfit back to perfection.

Mark was talking, but Donghyuck wasn’t listening. All he could see was, time and time again, how Mark had pushed him and his affection away. His _love._ Hyuck really was delusional to think there was _anything_ between them. If there was, surely Mark wouldn’t push him away? Donghyuck really believed, after years of pining, since _rookie days_ , that there was even a slim chance with Mark... how stupid could he be?

He shook his head slightly, Mark’s words ringing clearly.

“Haechannie, are you okay? I’m sorry.”

Hyuck looked into his eyes. His beautiful, glittery eyes that held him captive for so long. They still did even then, when his hope was crashing around him, suffocating him.

“I’m fine,” he said, bland, “let’s just perform, okay?”

The string had snapped.

~

The next day things were off. Mark could feel it – a certain tension between them. When they practised, there were no teasing remarks or shouts of praise from Donghyuck. When Hyuck danced, he didn’t look back at Mark _once,_ never asked him for feedback. For the first time... ever, really, Lee Donghyuck was completely silent. With him, anyway.

He still shouted out to Johnny, giggled with Taeil, teased Yuta and was full-on aegyo the entire dance prac. But whenever their eyes met, Hyuck would frown as if he was disappointed in Mark. He wondered if it was how he was performing today or something.

It had been weird last night, too – when the group watched Netflix, Hyuck didn’t try to crawl into his lap or sit as close to him as possible like he usually did. He was quiet, sitting silently on the floor.

And that night he didn’t come into Mark’s bedroom, didn’t whine about snuggling, didn’t go on about how ‘chilly’ it is, along with his other excuses. Mark was left with a chill of his own; the bite of the cool air, and that icy-cold feeling that can only be described as loneliness.

Mark was starting to sense the change in the air, the switch in their relationship. It was like Haechan had swum outside the flags and Mark had lost him among the waves. With him, Hyuck was a mere shadow of the boy he had been the day before.

Mark missed his Sun.

~

Another metaphor for Mark Lee and Lee Donghyuck:

Donghyuck – Haechan. He is the Sun. He shines brighter than any other star, bringing warmth to Mark, filling him with life. And I guess Mark is Earth, orbiting the Sun, dragged in by its intoxicating gravitational pull.

Another metaphor would suggest that Hyuck is the universe itself, for many reasons. Mark is nothing compared to him – Mark is a ball of dirt hurdling through space while Hyuck is bright and full of life and just so amazing, unique and rare that Mark is quite literally nothing in comparison.

And also because Mark knows life itself wouldn’t exist without Lee Donghyuck right there, encompassing him, enveloping him, breathing life into him.

~

The door opened quietly as Jaehyun snuck into Johnny and Hyuck’s room. He tiptoed swiftly, climbing into Johnny’s bed. His long arms encased him, pulling him against his chest. Jaehyun smiled, sinking into the bliss that is snuggling with your boyfriend.

Then a sniff broke the peaceful silence. Then another sniff. Then another. A choked sob. Jaehyun turned in the darkness. He couldn’t see Hyuck, but he knew he was crying.

He turned further in Johnny’s arms, causing him to whine sleepily, pulling Jaehyun back against his chest. Slowly, he broke away from Johnny’s grip and stood, turning on Hyuck’s bedside lamp.

“Haechannie? Baby? What’s wrong?”

His eyes, lips and cheeks were puffy, tears streaming down his face. He sobbed freely now, reaching out for Jaehyun and pulling him down next to him, crying into his chest.

“I’m an idiot. I’m so stupid,” he cried, and Johnny woke, protesting about the noise before his eyes landed on Haechan. Startled, he got up quickly, kneeling down next to him.

“Hyuck?” he asked, not really sure what was going on.

“You’re not stupid, baby. What’s going on?” Jaehyun added.

Haechan looked up, nose snotty, eyes red, face flushed. He looked broken.

“I am, I am, I am. Hyung, I’ve fallen for fucking Mark Lee.”

~

Things were even _worse_ the next day. Mark never thought that _Johnny,_ his somewhat brother-from-another-mother, would give him the silent treatment. Even _Jaehyun,_ sweet, sweet, Jaehyun, was barely _looking_ at him, let alone talking to him.

It got to around lunch time when Mark snapped. He and Johnny were eating together, and the whole time, neither had said a word.

“Okay Johnny what is it.”

“Hm? Oh... nothing,” Johnny replied, munching away at his salad.

“Come on, you’ve barely said a word to me all day. What’s up.”

Johnny picked his large cup of coffee and took a long, agonizing sip. Then he wiped at his mouth for 30 seconds, and Mark’s eye twitched with annoyance. Johnny smirked, irking Mark further.

“ _What,_ Johnny. Fucking. _What._ ”

Johnny’s smirk fades as he sighs, eyes turning remorseful. “Look, Mark. Hyuck... he’s sad.”

“Okay?” he responds, but the spike of worry in his gut doesn’t go unnoticed. He feels his eyebrows tug together. “Uh... why though?”

“Let’s just say a certain _someone_ broke his heart,” Johnny replies, tilting his head and sipping his coffee again. Mark’s eyes widen, then narrow to slits.

“Who? Who the fuck would do that to Hyuckie?” Johnny barely holds down his giggles – Mark was _so_ oblivious. “I swear to god Johnny you tell me right fucking now.”

“ _You,_ Mark Lee, _you._ You’re oblivious to Hyuck’s antics, to how much he cares for you, and it’s tearing him apart.”

Once again, Mark’s eyes widen, almost comically. “You mean to tell me Donghyuck Lee likes _me?”_

Johnny rolls his eyes for what feels like the millionth time that morning. “Yes, you absolute idiot. He’s head over heels for your stupid ass.”

Mark stands up so fast the stool he had been sitting on screeched against the tiles, teetering a bit before slapping against the floor. He and Johnny cringe at the sound. Johnny’s about to tell him to pick up the chair but Mark Lee is _off,_ walking at a very fast pace in the general direction of Donghyuck Lee.

~

I don’t really think this is a metaphor... hm, more like a trope I guess. You know that love story where it just feels like time is against them? Some invisible force always makes it nearly impossible for the two to get together. Like one is with someone when the other is single, vice versa. Or there’s just too many misunderstandings and hey, communication is _hard,_ so they never really... align. Its fucking sad. Somethings always in the way.

~

Hyuck hasn’t left Jaehyun’s arms for around 3 hours now.

It was just _too_ easy to get a big carton of ice cream out of the freezer, grab as many blankets as possible and snuggle into Jaehyun’s strong arms. Jaehyun was currently his favourite person ever. He snuggled closer.

The show they were watching was funny, the ice cream on his tongue sweet and full of chunks of cookie dough. Jaehyun’s arms around him was comforting, strong. Grounding.

So why was he still thinking about stupid, annoying, pretty, perfect Mark Lee?

His hair really shouldn’t look good all the time, right? It’s kind of stupid how it looks perfect, even if he’s only just rolled out of bed. It looks best like that – bright and early, a tousled, curly mop atop Mark Lee’s head. Hyuck misses waking up next to Mark, even just as a friend. He misses waking up just before him, eyes slowly opening, his vision full of closed eyes, soft skin, dark hair. He misses watching those eyes blink open seconds after him, his lips tugging into a smile as he softly nudges Hyuck away.

Oh... that’s right. That’s why Hyuck’s here, his ice cream slowly melting in his tub, his shoulders covered in blankets, his heart heavy. Mark doesn’t _want_ him the way Donghyuck craves him. Mark pushes him away. Mark probably hates Donghyuck but pretends to tolerate him for the betterment of the squad and company. That’s all he is to Mark. A thorn in his side, a problem he’s forced to deal with. Mark just wants to make a living and have fun with his friends.

Honestly, Mark probably would want to hang out with Satan himself over Donghyuck.

Hyuck felt the hot tears against his cheeks before the hurt really hit him. They fell silently as he stared, dazed at the television. The show he found funny moments ago was now boring, the jokes went over his head. The ice cream he had just spooned into his mouth went sour, sickening instead of sweet. He struggled to swallow it down, shifting in Jaehyun’s arms, which didn’t feel as strong as before. Nothing could protect him from his feelings. They were stuck inside him, infecting his heart and spreading through his body. He shuddered then, his sadness finally hitting him full force. He took a shaky breath.

“Baby?” Jaehyun sounded worried. “you’re safe.”

Hyuck hummed, leaning into Jaehyun’s touch as he kissed his forehead with almost motherly love. Hyuck turned and snuggled in closer, his tears never slowing.

Neither saw Mark Lee standing in the hallway, shocked.

~

This is meant to be all about metaphors, so here’s another one:

love isn’t as magical as everyone claims. Love is a cliff, and you jump into the unknown, sometimes unwillingly, sometimes _unknowingly._ If anything, love isn’t even the cliff, love is this sick bastard that pushes you off, dusting their hands off smirking as you fall into an endless abyss. And I mean the fall is beautiful: you’re falling endlessly through cotton candy clouds. From here, the air is crisp and the scenery is beautiful and wow, your whole body is completely warm, your cheeks are pink, you’re _alive._

But nobody tells you how you’re gonna land. Sometimes you land safely on two feet, your world brighter, smile wider, yadda yadda.

But fuck, if you fall for too long you land face first and your bones snap and your skin tears and it _burns_ and everything sucks and the world is cruel.

~

Johnny can suck a dick.

Yeah, Donghyuck is real fucking hurt. He moves on fast, and with _Jaehyun_ of all people? I mean come _on._

Mark is fucking mad. Mad, mad, mad, mad, mad! He’s storming through the dorms until he finds a certain Johnny Suh. He’s gonna rip his head off! He’s gonna scream his ears off! He’s gonna...

By the time Mark finally finds Johnny, the angers gone and now he’s just flooded with _dread_ and so much _sadness_ it feels like he’s dragging weights behind him. Johnny looks up from his coffee – dude how many coffees does one person _need_ – and his eyes widen before squinting as he sneers.

“What, reconciling with Hyuckie didn’t go too well? You should know it’s not that easy to fix things.”

Mark wants to yell, or throw a plate at him or _something._ He wants to sound angry.

He just sounds sad.

“Real funny Johnny. You couldn’t have just told me they were dating? Giving me hope was kind of an asshole move.”

“Huh?”

Mark can feel it. Bone-deep. He’s tired. His job makes him tired, but he loves it.

Hyuck makes him tired. He used to love it.

But now it’s like the tiredness and sadness and guilt and _loss_ it’s all sinking deeper, into his soul. It’s not fun anymore. There’s no bright side to it – he’s heartbroken. He’s too late. He’s stupid. He blew it.

He’s crying. Johnny must’ve stood up from his spot because now he’s here, in front of him, holding him up as he collapses. He doesn’t remember when he started crying and he’s not sure it’ll ever stop. He can’t recall ever crying this hard. He’s sobbing. It aches. It aches so roughly his breath is gone and he’s just gone. It aches.

“Mark he isn’t dating anyone? God, please stop crying, you know I can’t deal with it well, and that makes it like 2 people breaking down this week...”

Mark hears him but he doesn’t really _hear_ him. He never lets anything get to him. The exhaustion, the crude remarks, the fans of other groups clawing, desperate to bring him down. But Donghyuck is so different and special and unique and he’s blown it either way. He hurt someone he _needs._

Johnny’s words only register once Mark’s sobs turn to blubbering and hiccups. They process slowly.

“He... he was with Jaehyun. Jaehyun called him... called him baby. And kissed his forehead. I... fuck I blew it.”

Johnny laughs. No, no, he _guffaws._ And Mark really does want to stab him because _come on!_ He just cried, literally broke down, and Johnny is laughing.

“Mark you’re actually dumb. Did your mum drop you on your head? Repeatedly? For 12 years straight?”

“No, you asshole!” Mark shoves him away and gets to his feet.

“Mark!” Johnny calls out just as Mark’s at the door. “Jaehyun is my boyfriend you idiot!”

Mark stops because _what the fuck?_

_“what the fuck?”_ he feels like he has to voice his opinion.

“We wanted to, y’know, keep it on the down low for a while. It’s really nobody’s business, anyway, but you’re being stupid. Haechannie is Jaehyun’s little baby. Hence _baby,_ you actual idiot.”

“Okay I get it, I’m stupid,” Mark mumbles, wiping his eyes. He kinda feels stupid for crying now.

“But you know what this means, right?” Johnny’s smirking again.

“Uhh, no?”

“You’re in love with Donghyuck.”

“I am no”-

“Oh come on, Mark. I don’t think I’ve ever _seen_ you cry before today. You love him. But you really did choose the most dramatic of us all, Mark. You know you’re really gonna have to do _something_ to win him over.”

Mark sighs. It’s annoying that Johnny is almost always right.

~

Mark and Donghyuck are stuck in the rain. A storm so bad the lightning blinds them and the clouds are as dark as night and the rain feels like bullets.

But this shit gay, man. Bet your ass the storm will pass. _Double bet your ass there’s gonna be a rainbow._

~

Before about 10 minutes ago, Doyoung and Jungwoo were the only _couple_ couple of NCT. Of course everyone knows Jeno and Jaemin are a _thing,_ but Doyoung and Jungwoo are basically married at this point. So obviously, Mark goes to them for advice.

It’s a quick, 5-minute advice session. Jungwoo is always happy to talk to Mark, _especially_ about Donghyuck (“I knew it from the moment I met you guys, I swear”) but Doyoung is a very private, very easily annoyed person. It’s odd they work so well together.

The main point is, Mark has a plan.

~

_R A I N B O W. ;)_

~

When Hyuck wakes up he wakes up to dead silence. It’s a nice change from Johnny’s loud snoring, but a suspicious change nonetheless. Then the smell hits his nose – the smell of pancakes smothered in Canadian maple syrup and topped with his favourite ice cream. And yeah, cookie dough and pancakes might _sound_ like a bit too much, but nothing is ever too much for Haechan.

Suspicious? Yes. Enticing? Definitely. Donghyuck Lee is awake.

The pancakes are sitting on his nightstand, perfectly stacked. He couldn’t even smell the bacon but now he _sees_ it and he wants to cry. Pancakes, bacon _and_ cookie dough ice cream? He’s being spoiled.

But by who?

His curiosity is strong, but not stronger than his growling stomach, and he decides his secret admirer can wait until _after_ the pancakes are consumed.

-

There are rose petals all over the dorm floor. _Rose petals!_ Did Hyuck forget his own birthday or something? The rose petals were a trail leading out to the balcony. Being the absolute child he is, Hyuck skid across the floor in his socks to the balcony as fast as possible, desperate to see what awaited him outside.

Sure enough on the balcony table there was a little box, and inside that little box was a ring. A ring so beautiful and gold with little alexandrite stones stuck in between the golden weave of the ring. He put it on his finger and sure enough it fit perfectly. He sighed. It was so pretty.

“Uhh, Hyuck?”

He froze.

That voice belonged to Mark Lee.

After a moment he realised it was weird not to turn around, so he did. Mark stood there looking prettier than ever, his hair once again revealing his forehead, his eyes outlined black. He was wearing black ripped jeans and a loose white button-up and he looked _good._ He lifted his hand, revealing a matching gold ring with green crystals (Hyuck assumes it’s peridot – Mark’s birthstone), and Mark was smiling his cute little shy smile. The one Hyuck remembers from mornings waking up to him. He sucked in a breath.

“Look I know I suck. And I know I hurt you, Hyuck and I’m sorry. I...” Mark paused, obviously thinking of the right words. He did this a lot – Mark was more of a ‘speak-before-planning-what-to-say’ kind of guy, after all. “I love you. And I know I suck at showing it, and I suck at treating you the way you deserve. But I do. And I’m sorry I was too scared to say anything, and frankly too dumb to even realise you meant so much more than a friend. But... but then I saw you cuddling up to Jaehyun and I thought I lost you and... I’m just really fucking sorry Hyuck.”

Hyuck felt like crying of relief. The weight he’d been carrying on his shoulders for days lifted, and he flexed his shoulders for a moment. He was free. Free to love Mark again. Except maybe this time he wouldn’t push him away. Hyuck took a step forward, towards the boy he loves.

Mark stepped closer too. They weren’t far apart now. Mark had looked somewhat confident before, but now he looked scared. Anxious. _Sorry._ Despite the tension, Donghyuck laughed.

“You thought I was _with_ Jaehyun. Mark Lee, I swear to god, he’s”-

“Yes, yes, dating Johnny, I know that _now._ ”

Hyuck giggled again. “Remind me again why I’m in love with such a dork?”

Mark grinned. “Hey don’t ask me. But I’m glad you are.”

They were getting even closer.

“Glad I’m what?”

Hyuck was whispering.

“Y’know... in love with me. I’m glad you chose me, Hyuck. You make me really happy.”

Mark was whispering too.

“You make me happy too, Mark.”

Inches apart now. His heart’s pace was quickening by the second. At this point he was gonna have some sort of heart attack.

“ _And_ you’re hot. And dedicated. And you can _sing_ so well, holy shit. I really did hit the jackpot.”

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I am very much enjoying you compliment me. And I love you so much it hurts. But please stop talking.”

“Oh. _Oh._ Oh, yeah, sure.”

And Hyuck couldn’t hold back any more. He grabbed Mark’s stupidly perfect shirt, twisted it in his fist, and pulled Mark into the most mind-blowing, searing, sensual, beautiful, more adjectives, etc etc kiss that had ever occurred in the history of the universe ever.

_(It was actually awkward at first. It had been a hot minute since either had kissed anyone, and their teeth clacked a bit, and their mouths moved at different paces at first, but Hyuck wouldn’t have it any other way)._

~

There are a lot of metaphors to describe the relationship between two certain boys, Mark and Donghyuck Lee. Their relationship is an ever-changing cluster fuck of emotions, issues and problems. But in the end, they’re every happy emotion ever rolled into one.

So I guess, in that way, Mark and Donghyuck are a list of every metaphor to ever exist.

**Author's Note:**

> this genuinely took me months to make because of my new school. i'm legit drowning in work so i'm sorry i havent even LoOKeD at my other markyuck story "i can't read your mind, baby" but i'm GETTING THERE, i promise. quarantine is giving me loads of free time, so be ready for anything. thank you for being patient, i hope you enjoyed this. and i knoowwww i should stop making promises i don't keep, but a part two to this maybe? i'll think abt it hehe  
> ALSO THE AMOUNT OF MF TIMES I WROTE DONG Y U C K I HATE IT BUT ITS SO FUNNY  
> dongh Y U C K  
> im sorry its late and i miss seeing irl people


End file.
